I really hate it when you have to choose between two good things - or many good things. These are the times that I wish I could be like Michael Keaton in Multiplicity and find a way to be everywhere at once so I didn't feel like I was letting someone (everyone) down. It is easy when the choice is between good and bad or something you like and something you don't like, but dang it is hard when you are forced to choose between things you really do like.
That is what happened to me this last week. I really love scrapbooking and my amazing friend puts on a full-out super scrapbooking retreat each January. I love to get together with the women I see there every year. Especially because this is usually the only time I get to see some of them all year. But this year as the date grew closer and along with it the time to commit, family circumstances led me to believe that I needed to be home. I was able to have a mini-getaway the end of October with one of the ladies in the group who also would be unable to attend in January. And yes, we did have a lot of fun! And yes, I was able to get quite a bit accomplished! And yes, it was great to have the break and I would do it again! But this weekend as I watched the posts on Facebook from the other women in the group as they enjoyed their weekend, I felt a little sad.
On the other hand, I got to spend an amazing evening with my sweetheart. I got to spend one more weekend with Jon - these are hopefully few in number before he returns to California. I got to say goodbye to one of the students at school as they discharged. I got to spend a Saturday afternoon with Wil running errands and having lunch. I got to watch my husband sit on the stand for the first time as the first counselor in our LDS bishopric and try to manage the raising and lowering of the microphone. (Yes, I got a good chuckle.) All in all it was a good weekend, full of positive activities. It was great to kick back and relax and build my familial relationships.
Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the idea of right or wrong when making choices that we cannot make a choice; we become timorous. I have found that after analyzing the pros and cons of the options placed before me, if I "trust my gut" I do not regret my choice. There is freedom in knowing that you have taken action; a sense of empowerment for lack of a better term.
Two of my favorite quotes:
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.