It's Christmas Adam!

Happy Christmas Adam! 

Christmas Adam is what my children call December 23rd, as in Adam came before Eve.  I don't know about your home, but in the Wixom household today is not going to be filled with the normal hustle and bustle of years past.  In fact we are surprisingly "ready for Christmas" if there is really such a thing.  This is a good thing as I awoke this morning to windows shaking and trees bowing from the gusts of wind.  Yesterday's sunny blue sky-ed t-shirt weather has turned to jacket-required blue sky.

Christmas Adam (aka the name for the mad dash to finish those holiday preparations) is just one of the quirky traditions in our family.  It seems that this time of year they are also more abundant.  In addition to the annual advent calendar and Christmas book I previously wrote about HERE, we have the annual solve the code of the Christmas presents (I started leaving names off gifts when I realized there was peaking happening.  Now there is still peaking, but it is after they solve the code I have designed to remember which present is whose.), the Christmas musical recitals, pajamas on Christmas Eve, drawing names for sibling gifts, orange rolls for Christmas breakfast, and lasagna on Christmas Eve.

Sunday in our Young Women's class, the lesson was entitled "How can I prepare to establish a Christ-centered home?"  Thinking about our family, I was especially touched by this quote from Elder L. Tom Perry that was part of the lesson:

...we can organize our families based on clear, simple family rules and expectations, wholesome family traditions and rituals, and “family economics,” ... (You can read all of Elder Perry's talk, Becoming Goodly Parents, by clicking HERE)

It is our traditions that bind us together.  Rick and I both were raised in families that had traditions.  When we married, we spent the first few years sorting through those traditions, deciding what we wanted to incorporate into our own family in addition to new ones that we developed.  Where possible we have joined in with those traditions our parents have continued with our extended family.

A favorite Christmas memory for me was all of my siblings having a "sleepover" together in one bedroom.  We would stay up whispering and giggling until one by one we would all drop off to sleep.  Then on Christmas morning we would awaken and sneak into the living room to see what Santa had left.  As the years went by, I think Santa realized that we older siblings could help with the toy assembly, so many mornings were spent with us putting things together for the younger ones.  My children don't have "sleepovers", but they do wake each other early on Christmas morning and head for the tree.  There they will spend time together playing and eating candy until breakfast.

But our most important Christmas tradition is the acknowledgement of the greatest gift of all - the first gift - the gift of a Savior.  This year the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Mormons, started a social media campaign to remind us that He Is the Gift.  We have been encouraged to Discover the Gift, Embrace the Gift and then #SharetheGift.  The campaign kicked off with this moving video:

A few weeks later, another video was released that was part of a world record setting live Nativity.  Many of my friends were involved in the production of this video and have shared many experiences where they were filled with the love of God for each of His children.  When I watch the video, my heart is filled to overflowing.  The three minute mark does it to me every time.  As I view the representation of the heavenly choir that announced the birth of Jesus Christ to the shepherds that long ago night, I feel that I was there and you were there that first Christmas Day.

Luke 2:
13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

If you aren't one of the almost 5 million people who have already seen this video, take a moment to watch it now and if you have already seen it, I assure you it is worth a second, third, fourth, fifth.... look.

One last Christmas tradition I want to share - Christmas music.  I love Christmas music.  When I was a little girl, my dad would put the speaker of our old record player outside my bedroom window on Christmas morning so that everyone coming to our house would be welcomed by these beautiful songs.  My Grandma Cook always had Christmas music playing at her house.  In fact, she gave me the first record album I ever owned and it was an album of Christmas songs.  While I have been writing today, I have been listening to this album by one of my favorites, Alex Boye.

You can find it HERE. I can't say enough about how much I enjoy this CD.

The Most Important Job

When you hold your baby in your arms the first time, and you think of all the things you can say and do to influence him, it's a tremendous responsibility. What you do with him can influence not only him, but everyone he meets and not for a day or a month or a year but for time and eternity.

- Rose Kennedy

Parenting is hard.  I think anyone who is a parent would agree and probably most who have never had children would as well.  It is probably the hardest job anyone could ever have.  And yes it is a job!  It is a job that when done right requires more work, more commitment and more attention than anything else you will ever do in your life.  It is 24 hours 7 days a week with no holidays, vacation or sick days given, but the benefits are out of this world.  It is the only job where we are not required to receive any formalized training and for most of us the only training received is from watching our own parents or on the job.

I have been reaping some of the benefits lately as I watch my two oldest children start to find success in their "grown-up" lives.  

Hunter received his Bachelor of Science Degree from USU
and has his first job teaching science and math.

Wil served as a translator during the St. George Marathon for the delegation from Japan

I know I am not a perfect parent.  I sometimes yell.  I get discouraged.  I have even been known to leave a child sitting at school when they expected to be picked up.  It is because I know that I am imperfect and have had my doubts, that I am doubly grateful that my children are becoming successful and productive adults. (Knock on wood since we are only halfway there.)

At the beginning of the week I went to lunch with son #2.  I had heard on the news that morning a story detailing how a child's perception of favoritism can lead to substance abuse.  (Read the article here)  I asked son #2 if he thought his dad and I had a favorite child.  He said he didn't think we did (insert my very brief sigh of relief), he knew we did because it was obviously him.  (Insert shocked look on my face.  Well maybe not so shocked since I knew which son I was talking to.)  He did say that he had come to realize that some of his siblings take more time and effort than others and not just by Rick and me as parents, but by the family as a whole.  He also said that the one needing more attention is often changing as life changes.  I thought this was very insightful for someone who is just embarking on adulthood.  I was impressed by his maturity.

Read more about the Proclamation on the Family by clicking here.

I firmly believe that the principles contained in the LDS Proclamation on the Family are the best possible scenario in which to raise happy, healthy and responsible children.  Today I read an article about the importance of PDA (public display of affection) in marriage. (You can read it here.) As I read it, I reflected on how Rick has never been one to shy away from holding my hand or giving me a quick kiss goodbye.  I love my eternal companion.  I could not have imagined a better partner through life's journey.  

I have always believed in the concepts of bonding, boundaries and mentoring;

• Bonding - spend time together, support each other in individual activities, participate in activities as a family and be involved and invested in each other, 
• Boundaries - have family rules and consequences for breaking those rules, make sure that the rules are understood by all, each child is different and unique so rules need to take into account those differences.  Children do not have to agree with the rules because you are the parent and establishing the rules that help the family run smoothly is your job, but they need to understand the rules and the consequences for not following the rules.
• Mentoring - be involved in your child's life, know their friends, Friend your child on Facebook, follow them on Twitter and Instagram or any other social media, know your child's passwords, go to parent/teacher conferences, do the hard stuff even when it is inconvenient or when they protest.

A great website in Utah for helping with these concepts is ParentsEmpowered.org.  I became aware of this site when I was teaching classes on the effects of alcohol on an adolescent's brain for the police department where I worked.  I found it to be a site that summed up my feelings towards successful parenting in a succinct and often humorous way.

Video from the LDS Church - It's About Time Mormon Ad Campaign

At the end of the week, a friend of mine who is a new mom asked if I thought her child was doing alright.  She told me that she was so bombarded by people telling her what she should and shouldn't be doing that she was beginning to doubt herself.   I felt strongly to reassure her that she was doing a good job.  Many will sit on the sidelines and second guess our decisions - the Monday Morning Quarterbacks of Parenthood, but as a parent we know our children best and when we are trying and listening we will know what that child needs at a given time.  

We can educate ourselves from the best books written by the foremost experts on the subject; we can attend classes and seminars; we can search the internet for tips on successful parenting, but I still believe that the most important thing our children need is our time.  At the end of the day, these children are their own individuals and will one day leave our home and start their own adult lives and make their own adult choices.  The time we spend with them and the tools we give them will provide them the foundation they build on for the rest of their lives.  Those lives will be their choice and when that day comes, we need to let them know that we love them and if they need it, we still have time for them.

Read more about how to have a successful family here. 

Watch more great videos about time with your family here.

The Human Coin

Today I find myself hugging my children a little more, sneaking a few extra kisses, holding my husband a little closer and a little tighter, saying "I Love You" even more.  Today I find myself taking a few moments out of a busy schedule to talk with a friend, to smile and wave at a stranger, to enjoy the sunrise.  Today is a day that makes joy sweeter because we have experienced sorrow.

Yesterday my day was touched by death both at the start and at the end.  Both individuals left this life suddenly and too soon by earth standards.  My heart and prayers are with their families.  My faith that life is eternal and that we will be reunited one with another sustains me when faced with the question why.  I was taught that there must needs be opposition in all things; that we would not know joy if we did not also know misery.  That we would not know good if there was no sin.

Today I am blessed to have seen the good in others and to remember the joy those who have left us brought.

I love this quote:

“The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered...We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.” 
  ― Elizabeth Edwards


Today I acknowledge the sadness so that I can also know joy.

A Taste of Heaven

Today I got a little peek at what I imagine Heaven to be like.  After attending our normal church meetings with our own congregation, Rick and I went with our oldest son Hunter to attend the mission report of Hunter's mission president while he served a mission for our church in the Montana Billings Mission.

As we walked into the chapel, Hunter was immediately surrounded by other young men and women, along with a few older couples.  In turn, all put their arms around him and hugged him, welcomed him, and told him that they loved him.  When President Gardner stood to speak, he broke into tears of gratitude and joy and said words could not express how overwhelming it was to be in the presence of a visual representation of all the support they had received during the three years they served the Lord full time.  Sister Gardner expressed the same feelings.

Elder Hunter Wixom with President Larry and Sister Carol Ann Gardner
August 2009

As I listened to the words of these two individuals who took such good care of my son for two years and as I watched the reunion that took place this afternoon, I was filled with a sense of love and joy and the knowledge that this is what heaven will be.  I know that there are many on the other side that love me and are cheering me on.  These individuals want me to succeed and offer help when they can.  One day, we will be reunited and I will be met with open arms and tears of joy.  There will be many hugs and professions of love.

It is this knowledge that helps firm my resolve to be the best person I can be.  I do not want to disappoint those that are cheering me on, especially my elder brother and Savior, Jesus Christ and my Father in Heaven.


I hope you will enjoy this video and find it as inspiring and uplifting as I did.

"Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?" with Alex Boyé and Carmen Rasmusen Herbert 

I Love to See the Temple

Rick's dad and stepmom are visiting Utah this week.  Yesterday we spent the day in Salt Lake City "shopping" in the new City Creek Center, although more looking was done than shopping, and visiting the adjacent LDS Church sites of Temple Square, LDS Conference Center and Church Office Building.  Here are some fun photos of the day.

Sitting by one of the many statues in the City Creek Center

In front of the Salt Lake Temple with Rick's dad

I love this image of Christ putting his arms around my children

Had to check out Wil's choir seat in the Conference Center

The roof of the Conference Center

With our host, Leigh, touring the roof gardens of the Conference Center.
You can only go on the roof with a host.

Photo on the roof of the Conference Center.  We were asked to look into the
photo to find ourselves in the reflection.  The photo represents the family of man.

All of us with the Salt Lake Temple in the background.  Thanks Leigh for being
our photographer.

The State Capitol from the 26th Floor Observation Deck of the Church Office Building.

Looking onto the Conference Center.

Looking on to Temple Square.

This was our first visit with our girls to Temple Square.  They absolutely loved it and all the interactive exhibits.  Rick's dad commented on the sense of peace and love he felt being in this special place. It reminded me of the song my children have learned in Primary:

I love to see the temple.

I’m going there someday

To feel the Holy Spirit,

To listen and to pray.

For the temple is a house of God,

A place of love and beauty.

I’ll prepare myself while I am young;

This is my sacred duty.

I love to see the temple.

I’ll go inside someday.

I’ll covenant with my Father;

I’ll promise to obey.

For the temple is a holy place

Where we are sealed together.

As a child of God, I’ve learned this truth:

A family is forever.

(I Love to See The Temple, Words and music: Janice Kapp Perry, b. 1938)

With my sweetheart.  We were sealed together for eternity  in the Salt Lake Temple.

Swim Crazed

Today was the first swim meet of the Tri-State Summer Swim League.  With the two girls swimming, we had a child in each event in the 9/10 age bracket.  Luckily, the only event in which Lela and Emily competed against each other was the breaststroke.  We'll see how that goes come Monday when the ribbons and times are handed out.  We just keep telling them that they are really competing against themselves and need to make sure their own times improve each meet.

My parents have been at their condo in St. George for the last week and stayed over with us an extra day to attend the meet as well.  The girls were very excited about this.  My parents and my sister were troopers and stayed till the very last event.

My little fish

Jon and his mom

Lela rocks the Butterfly - no one could catch her.  Definitely her strongest stroke.

The Bubble Girls 

Taking a breather, watching the rest of the times on the scoreboard

I realized that every picture that had my dad, also had me not at my best 

My mom and Lela 

Love my mom's and Lorelei's hats

I was told I goofed this up.  It needs to read "I Swim so IM"  The IM or Individual
Medley is Lela's favorite event where she swims one lap of each stroke.

The Bubble Girls

I have to admit that it was a little on the hot side since we were at an outdoor pool, but luckily we were finished by noon just as the temperature hit 90 degrees.  I know we drank every bit of water we took with us and then headed for shaved ice after the meet.  THANK YOU to The Big Chill!!

Of course while we were in St. George, we had to stop at Costco.  I soon remembered why I only do this every couple of months - I never get out of the store for less than $200.  I wonder if anyone noticed our family in the matching shirts.

Next week is at Hurricane and after today, I will make sure I pack extra sunscreen.  Thank you to the coaches and the staff at the Hurricane City Pool for all their effort.  Without them, there would be no team.  We are going to have a great season!

Where'd My Little Boy Go?

Over the weekend, our home was the scene of more chaos than normal as friends and family descended upon us to celebrate and support Wil preparing to leave for his LDS mission in Japan.  With everyone coming and going at different times, the only firm item on the agenda was the 9 AM worship service that included Wil on the program.  I have to say that this casual approach to scheduling allowed us to relax and enjoy each others company.  Time was spent climbing rocks in Pioneer Park, jumping on the trampoline, playing games, putting together a puzzle, shopping, attending the temple, taking pictures and eating.  Most important was the time we were able to spend just talking.

Of course, talking led to reminiscing.  My niece, Brittney, commented on how much she enjoys hearing the stories from when we were all young.  We do remember to utilize liberal editing in the retelling of some of these adventures.  Not that any of us were ever really wicked, but as parents, we don't see the need to encourage them to try and out do us.  I remember one time Wil asked how his dad and I always knew what he was up to.  I responded that there was little he could do that one or the other of us hadn't done and we knew how to recognize the signs.  With the way society has become today, the adage "kids will be kids" can lead to a lot more heartache than a few missing rolls of toilet paper from the bathroom cabinet.

Rick and I always said that as our children got older, we would more fully answer their questions.  The phrase "When they grow up..." has been used quite frequently.  So it has now shocked us to realize that our sons have reached that "grown up" stage in life.  They now ask the questions that require the harder answers.  "Because that's the way it is" is no longer enough of an answer.  They have also reached a point that the concepts of repentance and forgiveness have real meaning.  Wil gave a beautiful talk in our worship service on the subject of forgiveness.  Two very important points he addressed were that forgiveness of others is necessary for our own growth and peace and that when we ask for forgiveness, we also must be willing to forgive ourselves.  

Sunday evening my sister Jody and I were talking.  She looked at me and asked if when I look at my children do I see them as they are now or is now an overlay on what they were when they were younger.  She said it is hard for her to see Hunter without his chubby baby cheeks, Wil not small enough to hide in a cupboard and when did Jon get taller than her.  I kept thinking of that not only can I not look at my own children without seeing them as they were when they were little, but I also have a hard time looking at my brothers and sisters and wondering when we got so old.  The lines from the Fiddler on the Roof song , Sunrise/Sunset, have kept going through my mind: Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don't remember growing older. When did they?

Many things can be said about wasting time, losing time, killing time.  But I find myself more and more cherishing time, relishing time, spending time.  When we are together as a family, those brief moments of time are more valuable than all else.  Time stops for no one, and time brings change.  Nothing is ever the same as it once was, so I am grateful for those times that we can look back and not regret.  I think that is why this quote attributed to Gordon B. Hinckley was so meaningful to me this week: 

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

Then and Now

Dickamore Family about 1979

Rick with his brothers 1975

Jon, Wil, Alex, Hunter and Brittney 1998

Tiffany 1998

Everyone, January 29, 2012

Our children 2003

January 29, 2012

Wil and Hunter 1996

Wil and Hunter 2011